Things To Put On My Metaphorical Tombstone

As anyone who knows me can attest, I can be an irrelevant person with a sometimes inappropriate sense of humor. I also take time to be thoughtful.  Plus, I'm turning 40 in a few months.  So, in that frame of thought, here are a few phrases I wouldn't mind putting on my tombstone.

Wow. That was a surprise.
That's all, folks.
I didn't see that coming.
Help me, Jebus.
I'm coming back as a butterfly. No one ever suspects the butterfly. (My personal favorite. It's a Bart Simpson line.)
Life's too short to take it seriously.

Oh and here's a limerick I just composed:

I once was a lady who loved to write
but considered my  work to be trite.
Found out too late
that my writing can't wait.
Now I'm writing by Heaven's white light.

Yes, I have a somewhat morbid sense of humor.  I know that life is frail and beautiful, like spun glass. But don't be afraid to live and take chances. And laugh. A lot.

10 Things to Know When You're Married

I'm not the foremost expert on being married by any stretch of the imagination, but I am learning.  Sometimes, it's not easy. Nothing worth its beans ever is easy. These are simply observations that I've noted along life's path. Also, these are in no particular order.

-Be kind. Always.

-Take your time getting married.  Choose the right person who will be your champion, best friend, lover, and companion.

-Let the person be him/herself.  You can't change a person, and if you love them, don't try.  (Only they can change themselves.)  

-Communicate!

-Don't play the blame game. Find a solution.

-Give sincere compliments! Thank them for a hard day at work.  Realize they are busting their hump to make life good for the both of you. There is something to be said for having a grateful heart.

-Marriage is not disposable. People are not disposable.

-Listen! It’s easy to tune the world out, even understandable sometimes, but try to make every effort to listen. It is so important! (I have been guilty of this with EVERYONE and I vow to work on my listening skills.)

-Laugh. A lot.  It’s good medicine for the soul and good for couples to be silly and to laugh together.

-Respect each other enough to be vulnerable, to lay one’s emotions out for the other to see.  This one is hard for me, but I do it in my time.

Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death

I resent when people whine for something and expect to have it given to them, like the gift is their rightful due. No. It’s not. Welfare, affordable healthcare…no. Not a right. Sorry to break it to you liberal and socialist self-entitled, wanting the nanny state to do everything for them, wussies. Those are privileges that should be earned, otherwise maybe everyone should just quit their jobs and live off the largesse of the government.

For example, I don’t want to pay for a perfectly healthy person on welfare diagnosed with depression.  The cure for depression is working one’s booty off, not sitting at home munching on Doritos. It is.  Exercise has proven to be just as, if not more, effective to dealing with normal cases of depression. I digress, though.  However, I don’t mind helping out a poor person with multiple sclerosis. Or having my taxes go toward helping retired people.  I’m just saying too many people are on social security and welfare that do not need to be.

Say what you will about capitalism, it most definitely is not a perfect system, but at least it ‘motivates’ people to work hard.  The greatest threat to our way of life is simply complacence. Of letting the government, or some other entity, take over because it is easier for us to permit other people making decisions on our ‘behalf’.

Do we really want that? Do we really want others (i.e. the government) to decide when or if we can see a doctor?  Or get denied for chemotherapy and have a medical panel offer assisted suicide because of a late stage diagnosis of cancer? (Real case in Oregon, by the way. He fought, won, and then died after a couple of treatments.)  Do we really want to accept financial handouts from the big ‘G’? 

If the answer to all those questions is “No.”, then congratulations.  You are a normal person possessing intelligence. If yes, well, you’re brainwashed and good luck to you.