Writing Orders The Mind

Life takes people on crazy turns, sometimes.  Dreams can dry up, such as what I had thought I wanted by going to school.  But I discovered that I simply want a life to live.  I don’t want to waste valuable time and energy; life doesn’t stick around long enough for someone to do everything they want to.  I have a confession. I left college.  As much as I did enjoy some aspects of school, facing a fifty thousand bill once I graduated…with no guarantee of a job was more than I personally could take.   However, it was more than the fear of student loans that encouraged me to leave.

I simply ran out of energy.  I found it just too difficult to learn a new job, have a long commute, make dinner, and study.  Then there is the fact that I need to exercise to lose weight.  My health is my priority.  I’m thirty-nine and probably 70-80 pounds overweight. I’ve got diabetes.  So yeah, I’ve got some problems. 

Yet, I’ve not completely given up on the dream that haunts me like a seagull screaming at night.  The desire to be a writer. Not necessarily for the pleasure of others, but for the satisfaction of crafting words and churning out fine pieces of literary art.   If people like what I have to say, that’s great, but I’ve come not to expect what I write to resonate with others.  So writing, for me, has become a selfish thing, a self-nurturing thing.

I haven’t done a lot of writing since I left college--probably because I was burnt the hell out.  But now, as spring has sprung into glorious colors, I feel the tendrils of inspiration come back.